Nicole Kirwan

08 April 2022 Day Eight – I Started This in March!! I can’t believe that this is going on for so long. I am still testing very positive. I’m so privileged in my frustration, I know. There’s nothing I can do about this. I’m a terrible patient. #selfaware I feel a bit more human but still pretty gross. Small bit congested. The cough is back. The tummy is still madly nauseated – PMS too I guess. Aches and pains coming in for the first time in a while. Could be PMS. Also, I was awake from 3:55AM to 5:10AM -ish last night. Whopper stuff. Lovely hurling. Everything tastes the same. Worst thing? Every coffee I make tastes the same, but none of it tastes good. I can barely differentiate much between foods at the moment. I spent the day on the phone, which didn’t help my cough but at least I caught up on family life. The small things, as they say… No paracetamol today and only a mild headache. Progress. Frustrations running high (can you tell?), but getting bits done. I finally atte...

Thursday 07 April 2022 Day Seven – Cold and Sweaty I’m totally nauseated all day today. It’s a combination of tiredness from a restless night’s sleep, Covid and the onset of PMS I’m sure. The howling wind last night really did a number on my sleep, but the worst of it had to be every leading cast member of Suits coming to haunt my nightmares. Each one of them wanted a clean 50 mil and I couldn’t get it to them. I woke up more stressed and unwell than I was going to sleep. Over breakfast, my housemate keenly reminded me that I lied in the post Day One – Faintly Positive   about not having watched Suits since the first lockdown. I blame this fib for my nightmares. It was a mere extension of the truth Jessica , I swear! I just have not binge -watched it since then, not in the same Covid-induced way as the initial lockdown. Here’s hoping that’s the end of those nightmares now that I’ve come clean… A weird sense of determinism came over me this day. I really did not want to let an...

 The Unemployment Chronicles and My Vaulting Ambition You read it right. Unemployment. The blog went quiet soon after its launch because I got a shock after recovering from Covid. For the first time in my life, I was laid off. I almost made it to the ripe age of 25 without ever being laid off, but here we are. Thankfully, it had nothing to do with my performance and only the fact that within the service industry, your labour becomes quite disposable. I, unfortunately, was the last in, and first out, as cuts were being made. It is tough, and it’s startling to be thrown into uncertainty, but I decided to treat it as a kick up the arse. A kick up the arse to really start believing in myself, believing in my abilities, my skills, and my experience. I am finally pursuing something pertaining to my college degrees *Mom & Dad sigh in relief* , but also pertaining to what I really want . That’s hard to decide, and I by no means believe it to be set in stone, or at all certain, ...

Wednesday 06 April 2022 Day Six – That Tastes Funny… “I’m not feeling as mega shite haha but still crap” is how I described my form for Day Six. I tested again, and still blatantly positive. I believe that waves began to lap upon crap and mega shite, and everything in between, all day after this. I sat waiting on the doctor’s appointment I made the night before. Frantically logging into the app, checking my permissions and push notification settings so as I don’t miss my appointment (I have notifications off for pretty much everything). I can’t even enter the digital waiting room that I have a direct link to on the confirmation email. What am I doing wrong?! I soon realized I made the appointment for Friday. Covid Brain strikes again. It doesn’t stop there. I tried to even out the rest of my morning with breakfast, coffee, vitamins, etc. Brushed my teeth, put my toothbrush back into the holder…put my toothbr- oh fuck sake. Not my toothbrush. I had been deliberately keeping my too...

Tuesday 05 April 2022 Day Five – A Whole New Beast Don’t take a cough bottle on an empty stomach. Just don’t. Don’t be like me. There I was, after cooking up a nice breakfast, taking all my medications and supplements, and doing my best to fuel myself well for recovery, I become more thankful for the dioralyte than I realised I would be. Suddenly everything I had taken that morning had all been but flushed away. I will admit, although I knew my IBS was likely to be triggered when fighting off a virus, I did begin to worry that this could be a symptom to take much more seriously. Gastrointestinal symptoms of Covid can be found in patients who end up in hospital. Dehydration can leave the person susceptible to pneumonia. Was I about to be that person? The triumphant wave of my positive antigen test in an attempt to lighten my mood on Thursday felt like a steady smack of reality as I weighed out my options. Was I experiencing a bad Covid symptom? Or, did I eat something bad? That’...

Monday 04 April 2022 Day Four – One Big Fog After a night of nausea, I awoke to the realisation that I couldn’t fend this off with a couple of Panadol and a few series on Netflix. It was time to graciously request a friend’s help. I compiled a list of things I thought might help: sinus rinse, the biggest box of the strongest lemsip they have, a cough bottle, motillium and dioralyte. Oh, the glamour. She came through, and then some, with a vegan bueno. Sweet angel. Covid brain is very real. It has been so hard to focus on any one task. Before, as I mentioned, I could do one or maybe one and a half tasks/activities with my day and I would be wiped out tired. Now, I’m too tired to even attempt anything, and my brain will not focus on any one thing anyway. These entries have been really hard to keep up with on the daily, but I’m trialing it as a writing exercise whilst I’m not being too precious about what I post. My day consisted mostly of small plates of food and bed rest with my...